Friday, August 20, 2010

Okay i just need other opinions on what happened with me and my best friend?

alright ill try not to make this long. but a lot went down. please help, i just need closure.





so i became friends with this girl, lets call her lily. Me and lily were BEST friends for exactly a year. we did everything together and never fought. we always made eachother laugh. whenever there was tense times we'd give eachother space and come back to eachother happy as can be.


we became friends because she entered 8th grade with years of private school experience, and amazingly we had been best friends in kindergarden. so we immediatly clicked. i taught her things on real teenage life, and she taught me how to have extreme fun. lily came from a sorta strict christian family, and her parents always looked at her like an angel. my family's a little more loose and i could get away with things, and have more freedom than her. which never seemed to be that much of a conflict. except i got the feeling her parents never really liked me for teaching her ';crazier'; things.


anyway, it just got really bad as soon as we entered high school. we were excited to finally be in one class together and we definitely agreed it was are favorite. it was gym and everyone was like a family in there. the guys and girls. excluding the weird people (not to be mean) i guess you could say the more ';popular'; people stayed together ( that was us ) since i was more outgoing and knew more people i guided lily into the people of the class.


things came to a head when i got really close with a guy in the gym class. nothing romantic, he had a girlfriend, we we're just best friends. we talked every night on the phone. so eventually i think lily felt almost ditched for him, although i spent equal time with them in class, and more with her out. so lily decided she was going to hate him out of spite. whenever i wanted to spend time with them together she'd walk away because she couldnt stand him, although he was always nice to her. i think she stopped liking him after she found out he had sex (remember christian family). but that didnt bother me, its high school for crying out loud.


anyway she got mad at me numerous times over him, when he shouldnt have effected anything. the only thing i could tell myself was that she was jealous i was close to a guy, and the guy she liked had a girlfriend.


so then i eventually stopped being friends with him. it wasn't really for her, just because he was doing things to me i didnt really like. but she probably had like a 20% effect on my decision. so after that we started to become better. we were talking and hanging out and i was so happy. then ofcourse she was starting to give me attitude again. i was so confused i hadnt done anything. was never really clear to why she was acting hostile towards me but then she found a reason.


she had told me who she liked.


we'll call him alex. alex is probably the hottest guy in the freshman class. he's a pothead, and only hooks up. but still a funny nice guy.


alex is in two classes with me, gym and history. history class we talk all the time and became friends. but gym my attention is usually towards other people so lily had no idea we were that comfortable with eachother. one day i sat a couple seats behind her and the guy i liked was infront of me ( not alex someone else), because alex was sitting next to lily.


when i saw this i thought. good now they'll finally have a chance to talk to eachother. but lily made no effort at all. instead alex became bored moved behind me to talk. i saw nothing wrong with this because we're friends and he came to me. so he started messing around with me, taking my phone pulling my hood over my head, etc. i could definitely call this flirting, because he's just like that. so ofcourse im laughing and stuff, so i could understand how lily maybe got jealous over him talking to me. but there wasnt much i could do. it wasnt one sided. so she started to ignore me ofcourse, her only method.


then i finally got her to talk to me. she said something like,


'; you knew i liked him and you just kept flirting with him. you flirt with every guy because you think they like and you can get anyone you want. you just want to be the center of attention all the time.';


i was speechless. i would not call what i was doing flirting. maybe from him, but to me were just friends. alex doesnt give girls the time of day unless, 1. he's hooking up with them. 2. he's making fun of them. or 3. he knows they dont like him and they just want to be friends.


and i would say im no. 3.


plus i havent had a boyfriend this school year and i hate girls that are way to loud. so i couldnt believe my best friend was saying these things about me. so once i THOUGHT things were better, because we talked it out, i messaged her on facebook the next day. all i said was hey. then she logged off. eventually she deleted our photo album, and finally deleted me as a friend.


all i could think was HOW IMMATURE. i had not once gotten mad with her through our whole friendshipOkay i just need other opinions on what happened with me and my best friend?
It happens alot, your best friend leaves you because of a guy. you need to understand that love is stronger than friendship. however, she should have controlled her emotions and realized that you were not flirting with him. Just give her space and when she is back to her senses she will come to you and work it out. If she doesnt than you must know that she is not a true friend and you dont need to be friends with someone who would give up a good friendship over a silly reason.Okay i just need other opinions on what happened with me and my best friend?
idkkkkkk??????
High school can get crazy. It's really hard for girls to spend time with guys without someone thinking they are flirting. When you're hanging out with guys who flirt a lot, think about what your actions look like to people around you. Sometimes when you're just having fun with a guy friend it looks like more than fun to others. Also, is it possible that ';Alex'; is in to you? Make sure you don't lead him on!





About your friend ';Lily';, it sounds like you two we're really close. Don't give up on your friendship! If it was strong, you can pull through this. She might be a little jealous about the attention you're getting from guys, or maybe she's uncomfortable with it because of her religious background. Maybe she's just worried about losing you to a guy, or becoming a third wheel. Give her some time to cool down, and then try talking again.





If she won't come around, maybe you'll need to move on. I had some troubles with a best friend a couple of years ago. It was really painful for me and my other friends. In the end, our group split up, but the friendships that were left were stronger and better than they were before.

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