Friday, August 20, 2010

GUYS ONLY -- proper way to make the transition from friend to girlfriend?

I've been going out for 7 months with this guy I know at the company I work for. We both are rather old fashioned. He's 43 and I'm 35. Nothing romantic has happened yet, no hand holding, hugs or kisses! At work, we walk together every day for half an hour. On some weekends, we go out. He treats me to movies and dinners but seems he's sloooow!! He checks out my boobs but never makes a move!! We get along well, have an intellectual connection and lots of common interest. I want him to look at me as his girlfriend. He is not dating anybody else. In fact, he hasn't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. He's shy and is Catholic. What is going through his mind? How do I transition from pal to girlfriend? I don't want him to think I just want sex. But I like to have a tender romantic relationship with him and not just be his movie pal. How do I do that properly?GUYS ONLY -- proper way to make the transition from friend to girlfriend?
Make the first move. It seems like he wants you to.GUYS ONLY -- proper way to make the transition from friend to girlfriend?
Some guys like me, are shy. We don't know what is up until it's right there in our face. You should have a talk about it, tell him how much you care for him, and how much you want to be with him, and take it from there. That's about all you can do really. I'm a shy guy, but by the 7th month, i definitely would've gotten the point.
lol i dont like too read that much so i would say dump that b*tch!!!! say: bye @$$ hole we are through !! and date a YOUNGER MAN!!!
He is old enough to make the first move and if he wants to, he will. At 43 he has probably had other relationships and you at 35 have also. If you rush him, he might just run in the other direction, but talk slowly about getting older and wanting a lastine relationship. Careful go slow and good luck.
He's probably just as busy trying to make the transition from friend to boyfriend. Sounds like you're the one of the two with the guts to break the ice, and someone's gotta make the first move.





I know I suck at getting subtle hints. Sometimes, I see my fiancee getting frustrated, and I'll know that she was trying to tell me something, so I'll move closer and ask her to just whisper whatever it is in my ear. Girls seem to have this perpetual fear of doing or saying anything that would embarrass themselves or other people, that makes it impossible for them to communicate directly. Which means that, a lot of times, it ends up feeling like women want us to read their minds.





If this guy is anything like me, you're going to have to be direct. Wearing different clothes won't give him different ideas. You're speaking in morse code, and the only language he knows is English. Just tell him what's on your mind, or kiss him. He just needs some kind of sign from you that it's okay to move on, and that you're not going to think he's creepy or anything. You might think you're giving him hints, but when you're quiet, you come off as an ice queen, ESPECIALLY when you're looking sexy.





So, tone down the looks and open your mouth. Don't scare him into thinking you're a supermodel who is too good for him. He's a human being just like you.





Good luck.
He sounds like me, probably just really awkward about it and wants you to make the first move. Next time you walk with him, hold his hand or give him a hug when your finished. Sounds like you gotta rock his world :)
It could be that he's afraid of ruining the already good friendship he has with you. That's cool. If it's obvious that he likes you just tell him how you feel. Tell him that it makes sense for you 2 to take it to a different level. The romantic part of holding hands and kissing and beyond will happen if it's meant to, but don't push it. If it doesn't feel comfortable to either of you then perhaps you were meant to be friends. The fact that you're physically attracted is ok. When it's put to the test and you 2 finally do kiss and all that you'll know if it's right or not. If it's not then you 2 should agree that it didn't work and neither of you got hurt and resume your friendship. I've been in the same situation before. There was a girl in high school that I was good friends with. We dated a few times and kissed and held hands and beyond....we both talked about it and decided to just stay as friends. That was after high school, by the way. To this day we are still friends and she is married to another guy and we all get along fine. I'm glad we explored it though. I think had we not, we would always be wondering. Good luck. I hope it works out for the best, whatever happens.
Well, he may have confidence issues, or e.d., or something like that and is nervous about getting into a situation that he can't finish.





Here's the thing -- you set up the next date - make it a Saturday night so any ';tiredness'; excuses are out the window. You're going to cook him dinner, and he doesn't have to do anything. You're going to treat him because you want to do something nice for him. And you tell him that after dinner, you are going to rent dvd's so you can munch popcorn and relax. Make the room dark and romantic - make it a romantic movie. Wear ';accessible'; clothing, and sit close to him. And, if necessary, you make the first move - touch his leg and hold his hand and snuggle up to him.





If he doesn't go for at least a makeout session, there is something seriously wrong!
You need to tell him exactly how you feel. It sounds to me like he likes you but he's just shy when it comes to telling you how he feels. He obviously likes you or he wouldn't be spending so much time with you.
i think he scared of a new relationship, he don't wanna get dumped again.
there are three, things I can see. that could be the problem. you said, he had a girlfriend that broke up with him. he may still care for her. and just does not want to say anything about it.





second: it could be, the break up may have hurt him bad. and he may be afraid to get hurt again.





third: he may think you just see him as a friend, and that's all. he may be afraid to make a move. because he is afraid how you may react. that you may become angry, at him. then tell him you do not want to be friends any longer.





The truth, I feel the third, is you problem. he does not know how you feel about him, and he does not want to take the chance on losing a good friend.





So, the best thing to do, is just come, out and ask him, how he feels about you. in that way, you will then get your answer.





then you will know. for sure, and not worry any longer.





I wish you luck, but I think everything will work out fine.





Take Care,
straight-out-of- the-box communication%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;














Sorry hun, but that is what maybe needed. You sound like w WINNER!, Good Luck
make a move kiss him put your hand out in the movies see if he will hold it that how i made my move with my gf
not to, not answer your question, but why do you keep asking the same question in like...a million different posts? its kinda annoying
Yeah, it seems you may have to make the first move. You may want to ask him how he's feeling. It's possible he's not interested in relationship with you, but it's just as possible that he's too fearful of rejection to make the first move.





You could wear your heart on your sleeve. Sit him down, talk to him, let him know you're interested....it's not an, ';Ok, I'm your girlfriend now'; type of thing, but let him know you want to be more than friends.





Or, you could play it a little more subtle. You say you don't hold hands or anything....next time you go out, give him a hug when he picks you up, or hold his hand....something to let him know you're enjoying your time with him. It could be that you aren't really giving him any signals to let him know you're interested.





Good luck either way!
Your best bet is to lay your cards on the table. I have friends like him and although they are great people, they have no self confidence and are terrified of rejection.


He sounds terribly submissive so make sure that's OK with you for at his age, he wont become aggressive if it's not in his nature.


You don't want to be bored silly 5 years down the road.


Good luck
Maybe he just wants a very good friend without the complications of a relationship.





Things change once that bridge is crossed, I know I have lost close friends after going to the next level.





Make sure this is something you both really want, and are you prepared to end your friendship if the intimate relationship does not workout.





Because it will end...
Chances are he's not dating someone else if he spends all this time with you. Ask him out on a picnic date, or something else that would be a secluded, just the 2 of you kind of thing. Make dinner for him at your house, or some other kind of personal gesture that would let him know you're interested in a romance. Even a small gift, like a copy of a book he was talking about, or a type/brand of wine that seems to be popular. Play on your strengths, you know his interests so use that to your advantage!! Good Luck!
When you're alone with him pretend to stumble and fall into his lap. Then apoligize and kiss him on the lips gingerly, innocently for about two seconds. See what his reaction is before you stand up. Then go from there. Some guys need to be hit with a metal frying pan (figuratively speaking) to get a clue.
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